48 hours. It has been 48 effing hours that I spoke two full sentences. The problem – swollen vocal cords. I cannot utter a single word without going hoarse in the end. And what caused the problem ? Throat infection and of course my very bad drinking habits.
Absolute voice rest was suggested by my doctor and also a strict caution that I might loose my voice if I didn’t do so. But these 48 hours have been the most treacherous and yet at the same time the most well spent time that I had in a long time. 48 hours of self introspection, learning and of course with a few daily dosages of writhing pain deep in the heart ( not another medical condition though ).
There were a few realizations that I had in this period :
- No one ever cares for you like your parents do. However close a friend might be or your spouse/girlfriend might be.
- Don’t expect anything from anybody. As an adult, you are on your own.
- Don’t drink too much.
- Being mum for a long time is effing effing hard.
People, especially people who are the prospective passing clouds in your life shall only use you when they want to and they’d never bat an eye to do anything but pursue their own interests irrespective of what you need from them. Now, to the big question – How do you identify who are the passing clouds ? The answer is simple, you can’t and that’s where you once again read point 2: “Don’t expect anything from anybody. As an adult, you are on your own ” Having expectations is an utter waste of your mental time and trust me its not worth it. Its only your parents who care for you from the bottom of your heart and no one else comes even nearly close to that love.
Now, for a person who is heartbroken for some reasons needs to drink. He needs to drink to get rid of his memories, to get rid of fears. But sometimes, the after effects include swollen vocal cords followed by hours of utter silence. Trust me, that is very bad. If you still can’t do without a drink, get situated near an ENT specialist. Saves a lot of time.
I shall continue my silent struggle of keeping strict silence even tomorrow or at least do another blog post once i get some more wisdom from yet another dose of self introspection. Oh god, I don’t want to sound like a Godzilla anymore. PEACE!