The Bitch


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Meet this friend of mine – I named her ‘the Bitch’. She has a special space in my room and life. I’ve planted her at a place where she is the first thing that I see as soon as I wake up and of course the last non fictional visual that I see every night. She just stands there merrily laughing all the time. Now, this laugh is not something that cheers you up whenever you are down. This laugh is not even something that pushes you to strive hard and fill happiness in your life. This laugh is something that the Bitch renders to mock the shit out of you. Just give it one more glance and you can clearly understand what I mean.

Now, for a person whose life is filled full of tragedies, its not uncommon to stay depressed, isolated and drunk all the time. That shit is fine. I can take it (err..I must say accustomed to it). But mockery ?? Why? Hasn’t life thrown me enough punches already ? Hasn’t fate already kicked me in the balls multiple times now ? You might think, “why the fuck do you keep it around”. Simple, because I have to and its just to remind me how fucked up my life is (I don’t know why I just let out a chuckle while writing this line). And why do I need to remind myself of this? Because I need to put on the same fucking mask of happinessĀ  every time I face someone. A mask that lets me go unnoticed, lets me earn a salary and of course lets me be perceived as normal.

Before the Bitch came into my life, I was sad. And after it did, I still am sad. But, the dark difference the Bitch made was that I began to laugh at my sadness. I know this ain’t normal. But, I stopped being one a long time ago. As of now, my hate-love for it is unparalleled what so ever. And if ever I turn my life around, the very first thing that I’d do is to mock the Bitch back in its face and tear it neck down with my own hands.

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I ain’t raising my glass!


Tonight I drink.

I drink until I forget,

I drink until I live.

Until the very last drop,

No I would not even consider to stop.

 

One glass at a time,

Maybe a bottle at once ?

Let my stomach drown in the bitterness,

Let my brain stop being mine,

Let the booze flow in my veins,

Tonight I forget.

 

I forget all the past,

I forget what the future holds,

Right now I drink.

I drink for myself,

Selfishly all to myself,

Oh, I deserve every bit of this.

 

The doc said not to,

My parents said not to,

Yet I want to.

This is what I want,

And for once I will take what I want.

 

Yes, I drink tonight,

Without any hint of the slightest fright,

Fuck my conscience! let it take its flight,

Tonight there wont be any light.

I’ll savor every bit of it,

Tonight I strengthen my grit.

 

I ain’t saying cheers,

I ain’t sharing with my peers,

This is all mine,

Let there be no boundary line.

Tonight I finish it all,

Let my soul take its deepest fall.

TONIGHT I DRINK!