The amount of goodness in the world never ceases to amaze me. I’ve been binge watching a string of documentaries on Netflix. Documentaries on people’s passion for food, on how a little boy harnessed the electricity out of wind in the ruins of Africa, on how stoic heroism of few people has helped the human civilization evolve and many many more genres. One striking learning that I’ve received from all of this is that PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Everyone has a story to tell, everyone had a story which made them what they are today and everyone wants to create their own story for tomorrow. Now, we are in a society in which everyone is a judge of every other person around them. That is alright! It’s just a perspective. But, what’s not right is to judge a person without knowing what they have been through and what they actually are made of. Why can’t people take a pause, make a conversation and then judge the person based on facts and figures. I very well believe that this makes our environment much more pleasant that what it is.
People generally blast off sporting personalities for not living up to their expectations. Come on! you are mere audience and they are where they are because of a lot of hard work that they’ve put in. I’m no hero. I was un-apologetically trolling few athletes whenever they didn’t perform for a long time. But, I’ve changed. Changed after I got to know more about them and what kind of hardship, meticulous grit and courage they had to put in to reach where they are. They play, they win and the fail. Yes, they are supposed to do so, not just because they are sportsmen/women but more importantly they are human too!
If an adult is out of job, if a woman is not married, if an adult male doesn’t know how to drive, why the fuck is it a point of gossip for people! If you can help them then please do. If you cannot then move along, You don’t get even an iota of a right to judge them and label them to be unfit for this society. I bet, the moment anyone does that they themselves become unfit, not only for the society but to be a human too! If you being a human can’t understand the pain and story of your fellow human, you can just move to mars and wait for the imaginary perfect martians to give you company.
We need to start appreciating the beauty around us. As long as a person doesn’t willingly hurt anyone, we should always consider the fact that this person is righteous, this person has a story and this person could be my friend. Let’s make this world a better place!
Does having a kind heart make you weak ? It certainly seems so. I’ve always been a person who overthinks a lot even for doing the minutest of the minute chores that we all do in our routine. But, let me tell you this overthinking is definitely not about how I will be impacted with anything that I do but its about how I might effect the others around me after I do it. This overthinking has forced me to make few sacrifices that I am not proud of. This overthinking often makes me do things that I don’t want to do a majority of times. Let me tell you that this is sometimes fucking hard. To restrict yourself from something that I want with all your heart for someone else’s happiness is no ordinary thing. Yet I do it, and this is just because I am built that way. Now, with all this going around, its at least humane that others share a tiny bit of your principles and understand why you do what you do. Even if people don’t appreciate what I am doing, its very basic for it to not make any statements that hurt me. But, nah! the world is pretty dumb in understanding what I do. It keeps hurling these sharp edged knives at me that constantly keep on hurting until I have bled that pain’s worth out. All these years, I’ve always thought that, the world may do this to me but maybe it does not mean any offence at all. As I’ve already mentioned in the start that I overthink a lot, may be this overthinking is a disease that the world is free of. Maybe its me that should learn from the world and not the other way around. I don’t know. I try to learn but I can by no means live that carefree and joyful life that others are living. I know I’m depressed, I know I am a loner yet I am a good person. Why should the world be that the way it is ? Why should it constantly keep pricking me with its deeds ? Should I change? Or will the world change ? Am I wrong or am I right ? Am I drunk ? Yes! But, booze is what that helps me think ? Err, overthink! I sometimes imagine how I’d be if I was like the rest if them ? How differently my life would have shaped up had I not made those sacrifices? Maybe I would have been happier ? But, maybe this happiness would have been at the expense of others’ pain. I don’t know. And bottoms up…
Moments of loneliness are good. Nah, they are great. They give you time to look deep into yourself and stare into that deep oblivion where your real self is hiding against the pressures of the society and its people. So in this episode of my loneliness I asked myself “What do I want ? Is it money ? Nah! Is it women ? Never! Is it fame? Maybe a bit. But what do I really want ? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!”
I really wonder if anyone really does. I see people putting up their smiling faces, partying hard, dating , breaking up and what not. But, I bet most of these people witness a void for at least a few seconds before they go to sleep everyday ( PS: Mine’s a void the entire day – a story for some other time). If you ask someone about what they really want, most of them come up with some random sarcastic answer and then brush the question away. Again, I strongly believe its only the fear of not knowing (or knowing something bad) that makes them avoid such questions. Some say life is a pursuit of happiness. But, whats the point in living if you cant realize absolute happiness while you live. The point here is if this pursuit of yours has no end, then it only means that you cannot get what you want in your lifetime! So, in this perspective of “life is a pursuit of happiness” you know what you want, but its very likely that you will never get it. How sad! What if its something like, you can never really achieve absolute happiness but can only realize happiness in bits and pieces. Now, my line of work(employment) is complicated. Lots of research, analysis and insights. But even though I crack tough challenges everyday I still face that void within me. I had a serious medical condition lately which I realized after I puked blood! I had a tube stuck into my stomach for endoscopy, killed the virus in my stomach, got cured in my lone battle ( I never informed all this to anyone). When the doctor said that I was cured, its a momentary relief. But, I am still battling with this huge void. So even when you battle your way through life and death and win, its still nothing near to realizing what you want in life.
Had I had something to hold on to, would that something be what I really wanted ? Hmm, maybe! But, now there is nothing that I hold on to or look forward for either. What now ? What else can I possibly want ? To love ? No. To be loved ? Argghh I don’t know. I will never know. Maybe some day some one will give me an answer. Maybe I will never know the answer. Maybe a drink is all we need to forget asking our selves about what we want..!