The Bitch


img_20180812_190050-01.jpeg

 

Meet this friend of mine – I named her ‘the Bitch’. She has a special space in my room and life. I’ve planted her at a place where she is the first thing that I see as soon as I wake up and of course the last non fictional visual that I see every night. She just stands there merrily laughing all the time. Now, this laugh is not something that cheers you up whenever you are down. This laugh is not even something that pushes you to strive hard and fill happiness in your life. This laugh is something that the Bitch renders to mock the shit out of you. Just give it one more glance and you can clearly understand what I mean.

Now, for a person whose life is filled full of tragedies, its not uncommon to stay depressed, isolated and drunk all the time. That shit is fine. I can take it (err..I must say accustomed to it). But mockery ?? Why? Hasn’t life thrown me enough punches already ? Hasn’t fate already kicked me in the balls multiple times now ? You might think, “why the fuck do you keep it around”. Simple, because I have to and its just to remind me how fucked up my life is (I don’t know why I just let out a chuckle while writing this line). And why do I need to remind myself of this? Because I need to put on the same fucking mask of happiness  every time I face someone. A mask that lets me go unnoticed, lets me earn a salary and of course lets me be perceived as normal.

Before the Bitch came into my life, I was sad. And after it did, I still am sad. But, the dark difference the Bitch made was that I began to laugh at my sadness. I know this ain’t normal. But, I stopped being one a long time ago. As of now, my hate-love for it is unparalleled what so ever. And if ever I turn my life around, the very first thing that I’d do is to mock the Bitch back in its face and tear it neck down with my own hands.

Advertisements

The Voodoo Doll of Loneliness



It follows me everywhere,

Through the day and night.

Its devlish smirks all over the air,

Triggering an anxiety and a ghastly fright.

 

It never ceases to overwhelm,

It never ceases to stand down.

Even the smallest moments of elation,

Are ripped apart and yes I begin to drown.

 

Forgive me oh dear lord,

I know I have sinned.

Years of plodding in the desert of penance,

I’m already half torn, already skinned.

 

Yet, you still seek my retribution,

But why don’t you for once call a truce?

Didn’t you ever hear about absolution?

Oh for once let me unloose.

 

You threw me away miles away from my home,

Yet, your revenge plot never comes to an end.

So how much more should I aimlessly roam?

I am fed up, the pain made my heart distend.

 

I have now understood that It shall never leave me,

And thus I gave it a name.

‘The voodoo doll of loneliness’, shall never let me free,

For I am the only pawn in thee game.

The Man in the Sea..


old-man-and-the-sea1

He was a helpless man drifting in the seas,

Thriving on ‘hope’ , to see the land and its trees.

Without any food nor any sleep,

All he could do was to sit down and weep.

Continue reading “The Man in the Sea..”

The Swollen Vocal Chords


IMG_20170621_001617_01.jpg

48 hours. It has been 48 effing hours that I spoke two full sentences. The problem – swollen vocal cords. I cannot utter a single word without going hoarse in the end. And what caused the problem ? Throat infection and of course my very bad drinking habits.

Absolute voice rest was suggested by my doctor and also a strict caution that I might loose my voice if I didn’t do so. But these 48 hours have been the most treacherous and yet at the same time the most well spent time that I had in a long time. 48 hours of self introspection, learning and of course with a few daily dosages of writhing pain deep in the heart ( not another medical condition though ).

Continue reading “The Swollen Vocal Chords”

The Cruel World..


IMG_20170410_001326

In a world which cared for its own,

He cared for others, the selfish and the lone.

In a world which mauled the weak,

He brought strength and helped them speak.

But, was there any one to care for Him ?

Anyone to share his sorrows or his whim ?

Continue reading “The Cruel World..”

My Dad, My Hero!


Father-and-Son1

He held my hand, he made me walk,

He taught me words and made me talk.

He was an angel, a hero in disguise

He showed me life, he made me wise.

 

He made he happy, he made me smile,

He never rated anything more and for that he walked that extra mile.

He never asked anything back from me,

He was unconditional, his love was always free.

 

He was hurting inside, he didn’t want me to leave,

He just bore a fake smile, he didn’t want me to grieve.

He couldn’t walk away, he couldn’t let me go,

He controlled himself, he never let anything show

 

He couldn’t stay like this, he couldn’t sleep at night,

He was waiting for my return, he kept praying to God to allow him my sight.

He wanted to talk to me, he hesitated to call,

He didn’t want to disturb, he continued to wrawl.

 

He never knew that I was coming back,

He was still waiting for me, unaware of my track.

He then saw me at his door, he suddenly froze,

He had tears in his eyes, all his lost spirits now arose.

 

He came running, he hugged me tight,

His wailing heart was now happy, he never again wanted to let me go not even slight .

He never knew my love for him, he never asked me for it,

He still always loved me and that’s how it seemed him fit.

He is my dad!

PS: If you are reading this please take a moment of your life to reflect upon everything that your parents have sacrificed for your happiness. No love is more purer that the love shown by your parents towards you and to acknowledge that is the least that we can do.