Selling the self..!


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Lying on my bed every night ,

I think of everything I’ve done- wrong and right.

Each distinct memory revving by,

Some making me giggle and some making me cry.

“What makes you happy ?” asked my heart,

The answer was merely an overwhelming void that tore me apart.

“Is there anything that I love” , asked my soul,

Its another big void- sucking everything up like a giant black hole.

I then thought,”Can I spread happiness or at least make someone smile?”

Yeah, many people raised their hands, a petty little solace at the end of an aisle.

But then, “What makes ME happy ?” is what I really want to know,

A puzzle still unanswered- a never ending woe.

Who am I ? and what do I want ?

Each answer starts asking something new, the night begins to haunt.

Something immediately seemed to ease my pain,

It brought some hope, it soothed the sprain.

The thought- “May be this is what a man is destined to do,

To spread happiness and joy, to let the light spread through, 

To just show the way and then step aside,

To let the people walk, run and let them ride the tide.

And then rejoice their success,

You will find the pain vanish, you’ll find it regress.

Its not always the ‘‘ in your LIFE,

Spreading the Love, being a Friend and bearing some Empathy shall also lets you thrive”.

This was what love meant after all: sacrifice and selflessness. It did not mean hearts and flowers and a happy ending, but the knowledge that another’s well-being is more important than one’s own- Anonymous

The Glory..!!


Little beads of sweat trickling by,

You keep walking, unfazed by the pain,with the head held high.

“Why should thou bear it?” asks your heart,

There comes the answer, the very first memory, right from the start.

You make your first step, you see many people patting your shoulder,

You answer all those challenges,you now sense the inner flame smolder.

You rise to glory, you taste every bit of it,

You now wanted to run faster, never did you try to slow down,never did you try to sit.

Now here comes a point, you stumble upon a little stone,

The wound so intense, paining through the skin and deep into the bone.

You now look for friends, you now look for help,

Oh,they are all long gone,no one to cure the pain,no one to soothe the yelp.

You now realize, you are on your own,

You now will learn to stand up, yes indeed you are alone.

You stand up to move ahead, with a new energy,with a new ardor,

You never are satisfied, your soul raves you to try harder.

The passion for your glory is now not the same,

You now feel a zeal burning within, oh, don’t stop, go on, feed the flame.

A little step is what all it shall take,

To find new questions and their answers, oh, let there be anything at stake.

                                  

A Desperation..


A desperation, an urge,

To end this pain and to end this scourge.

They were all along my heart,

Those bruises, they just tore me apart.

Shall happiness again revive?

Oh, I cannot bear it anymore,I wanted an end to this fight,to this strive.

A part of me says to wake up, A part says never,

At least I can find you in my dreams, Oh please don’t let me sever.

A part of me is here, A part of me is you,

I’ve given you my heart I’ve given you my soul, Oh my last breath, take that too.

My soul always yearned to see you afore,

Oh yes, you did come, you brought me back ashore.

I now could feel the happiness, I now could feel the life,

I could feel the strength, Oh,watch me clear every strife.

Every little flower appeared to bloom,appeared to smile,

Oh, see them through my eyes,its only happiness, nothing evil and nothing vile.

Clasp my hand and hold it tight,

Let these moments last, for now, forever and through every twilight.

An Answer..


I was there standing alone,

Churning all those painful memories within,castaway and feeling thrown.

I could feel the heavy wind striking hard,

Reminding me of my earliest nightmares,I felt battered,I felt marred.

For once I wanted to be happy,why should it always be pain?

I never found an answer, all my cries were just in vain.

I’ve waited, waited long enough,

I cannot wait any longer, its getting hard,its getting tough.

I could then feel a hand upon me, it brought a sudden warmth, a sudden glee.

Was it the answer that I wanted? Would it mark and end to my misery? Would it end the spree?

I asked it the same, “Would you stay with me forever?”,

“I really need you, I cannot bear us both sever”.

It shared its happiness, it shared its love,

Now, I have a friend,my companion, my turtle-dove.

I no longer felt the pain,

The blistering heat that I bore, is now washed away, oh yes I now felt the rain.

It is my only sanctuary, my only belief,

Please help me LIVE, don’t ever leave me in grief.

The only word that mattered-Hope


Hope,the only single word that i’ve always thrived upon,

The only word that held me through every lonely dusk and every painful dawn.

Every agonizing thought and every hurtful memory that i’ve been through,

It was only hope that helped me stand firm,it was the only thing that I could turn to.

Now,even that tiny hope started to break away,

How can I survive, How can I stay?

Every flower I saw always seemed to bloom,

Didn’t it ever go  through a scorching summer,or atleast thrive through a gloom?

It answered yes, But then how could it never feel any of those fears,

Where I stand struggling every day to hide my painful tears.

I asked it the same,It said it always relied upon a word,

That word always ensured it a gleeful spring through every problem unheard.

It was Hope indeed,It promised the flowers,

That It shall make them happy,that It shall very soon bring the showers.

What mistake have I done?

Why should I be abandoned by It,Why should I be left with none?

I once spoke to a little kid,

What if your best friend finds out your love to her,what if she will forbid?

He said, there is a word that always avoids such a nightmare,

It always helped him stay strong,it always helped him adhere.

It was again Hope indeed, It ensured him a very firm consent,

But why was I discarded by It,why must only I be the sufferer of such a torment.

I really didn’t know what should I do,

Whom shall lend me a shoulder to cry upon,how shall I get through?

I only wish that It comes back to me,

Hope of Hope is all that is left,please comeback and set my soul free.

That empty street..


There I was,walking on that empty street,

Making tiny steps through those weary trembling feet.

Every step reminding me my pain,my past,

Oh,I just succumbed,feeling terrified and aghast.

Every thought portrayed your presence,your smile,

These are my tiny moments to cherish,Oh bearing this pain is worthwhile.

Was it just the time that divided us or was it only me?

Let me affirm,all that mattered was your happiness,your glee.

The distance now seems so very far,

Every moment with you , now a very deep scar.

We are two worlds apart,

Why should this happen? Oh,it just breaks my heart.

I only wish I had one more chance,

Please show me that your are happy,at least grant me a glance.