A pain that stays…forever!


A pain that that kills,

A guilt that grills,

A feeling that pierces through,

An emotion that no one ever knew.

Was it a mistake or was it a sacrifice,

Was it a virtue or was it a vice ,

Without any clue here I am paying the price,

Writhing alone in this painful paradise.

I wish I could change all of this,

I wish I could restore the happiness, restore the bliss,

I wish I could seek light from this never ending abyss,

I wish I could just relive and reminisce.

 

My Dad, My Hero!


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He held my hand, he made me walk,

He taught me words and made me talk.

He was an angel, a hero in disguise

He showed me life, he made me wise.

 

He made he happy, he made me smile,

He never rated anything more and for that he walked that extra mile.

He never asked anything back from me,

He was unconditional, his love was always free.

 

He was hurting inside, he didn’t want me to leave,

He just bore a fake smile, he didn’t want me to grieve.

He couldn’t walk away, he couldn’t let me go,

He controlled himself, he never let anything show

 

He couldn’t stay like this, he couldn’t sleep at night,

He was waiting for my return, he kept praying to God to allow him my sight.

He wanted to talk to me, he hesitated to call,

He didn’t want to disturb, he continued to wrawl.

 

He never knew that I was coming back,

He was still waiting for me, unaware of my track.

He then saw me at his door, he suddenly froze,

He had tears in his eyes, all his lost spirits now arose.

 

He came running, he hugged me tight,

His wailing heart was now happy, he never again wanted to let me go not even slight .

He never knew my love for him, he never asked me for it,

He still always loved me and that’s how it seemed him fit.

He is my dad!

PS: If you are reading this please take a moment of your life to reflect upon everything that your parents have sacrificed for your happiness. No love is more purer that the love shown by your parents towards you and to acknowledge that is the least that we can do.

A Confession..


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A tired body, a tired soul,

Is now writing this with no destined goal.

He never laughed, he never smiled,

He always pretended to, but inside he cried.

The pain he bore never seemed to fade,

He wanted to tell her that he never betrayed.

They once loved each other and were never apart,

Each of those memories still fresh and pounding his heart.

He made her laugh , he made her cry,

She bared her soul to him, for him she was ready to die.

Not even the farthest of the distances separated them,

For, their breath was one, oh their relationship was a gem.

But, one day he then came to realize,

His ship would very soon break and begin to capsize.

He wanted to protect her,

He let her go, oh ,his brain began to blur.

Coward- they all called him,

But he was only a sucker for love, not his  happiness nor his whim.

His heart now bore a gaping hole,

Pain oozing out , the loneliness took its toll.

He still abides by what he had done,

He still wants her to go away, he wanted her happy and having fun.

For her he will forever stay,

All he wanted to do was to yell that he never did betray. 

Selling the self..!


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Lying on my bed every night ,

I think of everything I’ve done- wrong and right.

Each distinct memory revving by,

Some making me giggle and some making me cry.

“What makes you happy ?” asked my heart,

The answer was merely an overwhelming void that tore me apart.

“Is there anything that I love” , asked my soul,

Its another big void- sucking everything up like a giant black hole.

I then thought,”Can I spread happiness or at least make someone smile?”

Yeah, many people raised their hands, a petty little solace at the end of an aisle.

But then, “What makes ME happy ?” is what I really want to know,

A puzzle still unanswered- a never ending woe.

Who am I ? and what do I want ?

Each answer starts asking something new, the night begins to haunt.

Something immediately seemed to ease my pain,

It brought some hope, it soothed the sprain.

The thought- “May be this is what a man is destined to do,

To spread happiness and joy, to let the light spread through, 

To just show the way and then step aside,

To let the people walk, run and let them ride the tide.

And then rejoice their success,

You will find the pain vanish, you’ll find it regress.

Its not always the ‘‘ in your LIFE,

Spreading the Love, being a Friend and bearing some Empathy shall also lets you thrive”.

This was what love meant after all: sacrifice and selflessness. It did not mean hearts and flowers and a happy ending, but the knowledge that another’s well-being is more important than one’s own- Anonymous

A Desperation..


A desperation, an urge,

To end this pain and to end this scourge.

They were all along my heart,

Those bruises, they just tore me apart.

Shall happiness again revive?

Oh, I cannot bear it anymore,I wanted an end to this fight,to this strive.

A part of me says to wake up, A part says never,

At least I can find you in my dreams, Oh please don’t let me sever.

A part of me is here, A part of me is you,

I’ve given you my heart I’ve given you my soul, Oh my last breath, take that too.

My soul always yearned to see you afore,

Oh yes, you did come, you brought me back ashore.

I now could feel the happiness, I now could feel the life,

I could feel the strength, Oh,watch me clear every strife.

Every little flower appeared to bloom,appeared to smile,

Oh, see them through my eyes,its only happiness, nothing evil and nothing vile.

Clasp my hand and hold it tight,

Let these moments last, for now, forever and through every twilight.

An Answer..


I was there standing alone,

Churning all those painful memories within,castaway and feeling thrown.

I could feel the heavy wind striking hard,

Reminding me of my earliest nightmares,I felt battered,I felt marred.

For once I wanted to be happy,why should it always be pain?

I never found an answer, all my cries were just in vain.

I’ve waited, waited long enough,

I cannot wait any longer, its getting hard,its getting tough.

I could then feel a hand upon me, it brought a sudden warmth, a sudden glee.

Was it the answer that I wanted? Would it mark and end to my misery? Would it end the spree?

I asked it the same, “Would you stay with me forever?”,

“I really need you, I cannot bear us both sever”.

It shared its happiness, it shared its love,

Now, I have a friend,my companion, my turtle-dove.

I no longer felt the pain,

The blistering heat that I bore, is now washed away, oh yes I now felt the rain.

It is my only sanctuary, my only belief,

Please help me LIVE, don’t ever leave me in grief.

That empty street..


There I was,walking on that empty street,

Making tiny steps through those weary trembling feet.

Every step reminding me my pain,my past,

Oh,I just succumbed,feeling terrified and aghast.

Every thought portrayed your presence,your smile,

These are my tiny moments to cherish,Oh bearing this pain is worthwhile.

Was it just the time that divided us or was it only me?

Let me affirm,all that mattered was your happiness,your glee.

The distance now seems so very far,

Every moment with you , now a very deep scar.

We are two worlds apart,

Why should this happen? Oh,it just breaks my heart.

I only wish I had one more chance,

Please show me that your are happy,at least grant me a glance.