A lost addiction..


Its been ages that I have sat down to write ,

The dearest hobby that I had which made my every scary night very bright.

Each and every day I try to set the things right ,

But never found any solace ,not even slight.

What should I do to get my courage back,

Did I still have it in me to write and get back on track ?

Each and every second now started making a violent whack ,

Oh god, please spare me some light for the night is awfully black.

“Just stay calm!” ordered my aching heart,

That’s right I thought, thinking too much would only tear me apart,

All I needed was to get a proper start,

For, my rage never dies neither does my art.

My heart has now agreed to sign a pact,

That only if I write , it shall hold me intact,

Now my fears slowly started loosing their impact,

Oh god  just let me write, I have already lost in love and you have nothing left  in me to detract.

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Selling the self..!


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Lying on my bed every night ,

I think of everything I’ve done- wrong and right.

Each distinct memory revving by,

Some making me giggle and some making me cry.

“What makes you happy ?” asked my heart,

The answer was merely an overwhelming void that tore me apart.

“Is there anything that I love” , asked my soul,

Its another big void- sucking everything up like a giant black hole.

I then thought,”Can I spread happiness or at least make someone smile?”

Yeah, many people raised their hands, a petty little solace at the end of an aisle.

But then, “What makes ME happy ?” is what I really want to know,

A puzzle still unanswered- a never ending woe.

Who am I ? and what do I want ?

Each answer starts asking something new, the night begins to haunt.

Something immediately seemed to ease my pain,

It brought some hope, it soothed the sprain.

The thought- “May be this is what a man is destined to do,

To spread happiness and joy, to let the light spread through, 

To just show the way and then step aside,

To let the people walk, run and let them ride the tide.

And then rejoice their success,

You will find the pain vanish, you’ll find it regress.

Its not always the ‘‘ in your LIFE,

Spreading the Love, being a Friend and bearing some Empathy shall also lets you thrive”.

This was what love meant after all: sacrifice and selflessness. It did not mean hearts and flowers and a happy ending, but the knowledge that another’s well-being is more important than one’s own- Anonymous

I wish I could fly..


I wish I could fly,

Fly off into the endless night sky,

Away from all the evil,away from all the pain,

Oh I shall never ask for anything more ever and again.

Let me out, open the cage,

Let me flourish for once, let my bruises assuage.

Isn’t the wait enough, what more should I endure?

Would there ever be a key ? At-least a hint to help me assure?

I am flapping my wings in pain, I know I can never get out,

Oh, now I am tired,can’t anyone hear me cry or shout?

You don’t know the pain,

For your tears have never fallen down like rain.

To form a puddle at your feet,

For people to walk all over as they walk down the street.

Let me go out, let me touch the stars,

Help me break through,Oh please let me break these bars.

May be then i’ll be able to see,

How is it to live life, and to be the real person, they say me!

An Answer..


I was there standing alone,

Churning all those painful memories within,castaway and feeling thrown.

I could feel the heavy wind striking hard,

Reminding me of my earliest nightmares,I felt battered,I felt marred.

For once I wanted to be happy,why should it always be pain?

I never found an answer, all my cries were just in vain.

I’ve waited, waited long enough,

I cannot wait any longer, its getting hard,its getting tough.

I could then feel a hand upon me, it brought a sudden warmth, a sudden glee.

Was it the answer that I wanted? Would it mark and end to my misery? Would it end the spree?

I asked it the same, “Would you stay with me forever?”,

“I really need you, I cannot bear us both sever”.

It shared its happiness, it shared its love,

Now, I have a friend,my companion, my turtle-dove.

I no longer felt the pain,

The blistering heat that I bore, is now washed away, oh yes I now felt the rain.

It is my only sanctuary, my only belief,

Please help me LIVE, don’t ever leave me in grief.

The only word that mattered-Hope


Hope,the only single word that i’ve always thrived upon,

The only word that held me through every lonely dusk and every painful dawn.

Every agonizing thought and every hurtful memory that i’ve been through,

It was only hope that helped me stand firm,it was the only thing that I could turn to.

Now,even that tiny hope started to break away,

How can I survive, How can I stay?

Every flower I saw always seemed to bloom,

Didn’t it ever go  through a scorching summer,or atleast thrive through a gloom?

It answered yes, But then how could it never feel any of those fears,

Where I stand struggling every day to hide my painful tears.

I asked it the same,It said it always relied upon a word,

That word always ensured it a gleeful spring through every problem unheard.

It was Hope indeed,It promised the flowers,

That It shall make them happy,that It shall very soon bring the showers.

What mistake have I done?

Why should I be abandoned by It,Why should I be left with none?

I once spoke to a little kid,

What if your best friend finds out your love to her,what if she will forbid?

He said, there is a word that always avoids such a nightmare,

It always helped him stay strong,it always helped him adhere.

It was again Hope indeed, It ensured him a very firm consent,

But why was I discarded by It,why must only I be the sufferer of such a torment.

I really didn’t know what should I do,

Whom shall lend me a shoulder to cry upon,how shall I get through?

I only wish that It comes back to me,

Hope of Hope is all that is left,please comeback and set my soul free.

That empty street..


There I was,walking on that empty street,

Making tiny steps through those weary trembling feet.

Every step reminding me my pain,my past,

Oh,I just succumbed,feeling terrified and aghast.

Every thought portrayed your presence,your smile,

These are my tiny moments to cherish,Oh bearing this pain is worthwhile.

Was it just the time that divided us or was it only me?

Let me affirm,all that mattered was your happiness,your glee.

The distance now seems so very far,

Every moment with you , now a very deep scar.

We are two worlds apart,

Why should this happen? Oh,it just breaks my heart.

I only wish I had one more chance,

Please show me that your are happy,at least grant me a glance.