The Swollen Vocal Chords

48 hours. It has been 48 effing hours that I spoke two full sentences. The problem – swollen vocal cords. I cannot utter a single word without going hoarse in the end. And what caused the problem ? Throat infection and of course my very bad drinking habits.

Absolute voice rest was suggested by my doctor and also a strict caution that I might loose my voice if I didn’t do so. But these 48 hours have been the most treacherous and yet at the same time the most well spent time that I had in a long time. 48 hours of self introspection, learning and of course with a few daily dosages of writhing pain deep in the heart ( not another medical condition though ).

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The Cruel World..

In a world which cared for its own,

He cared for others, the selfish and the lone.

In a world which mauled the weak,

He brought strength and helped them speak.

But, was there any one to care for Him ?

Anyone to share his sorrows or his whim ?

A Curse!

 

Unspoken words and untraveled roads,

Fill my life,  with a grief worth loads.

Living through the day and weeping through the night,

I drank too much, Oh, not even that can save me from this plight.

The tiny little bird!

(image courtesy: Google)

There was a bird, so very little,

In its nest away from a world so very brittle.

It had its mother, it had its father,

No trouble, no fear, nothing to bother.

A pain that stays…forever!

A pain that that kills,

A guilt that grills,

A feeling that pierces through,

An emotion that no one ever knew.

Was it a mistake or was it a sacrifice,

Was it a virtue or was it a vice ,

Without any clue here I am paying the price,

Writhing alone in this painful paradise.

I wish I could change all of this,

I wish I could restore the happiness, restore the bliss,

I wish I could seek light from this never ending abyss,

I wish I could just relive and reminisce.

 

My Dad, My Hero!

He held my hand, he made me walk,

He taught me words and made me talk.

He was an angel, a hero in disguise

He showed me life, he made me wise.

 

He made he happy, he made me smile,

He never rated anything more and for that he walked that extra mile.

He never asked anything back from me,

He was unconditional, his love was always free.

 

He was hurting inside, he didn’t want me to leave,

He just bore a fake smile, he didn’t want me to grieve.

He couldn’t walk away, he couldn’t let me go,

He controlled himself, he never let anything show

 

He couldn’t stay like this, he couldn’t sleep at night,

He was waiting for my return, he kept praying to God to allow him my sight.

He wanted to talk to me, he hesitated to call,

He didn’t want to disturb, he continued to wrawl.

 

He never knew that I was coming back,

He was still waiting for me, unaware of my track.

He then saw me at his door, he suddenly froze,

He had tears in his eyes, all his lost spirits now arose.

 

He came running, he hugged me tight,

His wailing heart was now happy, he never again wanted to let me go not even slight .

He never knew my love for him, he never asked me for it,

He still always loved me and that’s how it seemed him fit.

He is my dad!

PS: If you are reading this please take a moment of your life to reflect upon everything that your parents have sacrificed for your happiness. No love is more purer that the love shown by your parents towards you and to acknowledge that is the least that we can do.

A lost addiction..

Its been ages that I have sat down to write ,

The dearest hobby that I had which made my every scary night very bright.

Each and every day I try to set the things right ,

But never found any solace ,not even slight.

What should I do to get my courage back,

Did I still have it in me to write and get back on track ?

Each and every second now started making a violent whack ,

Oh god, please spare me some light for the night is awfully black.

“Just stay calm!” ordered my aching heart,

That’s right I thought, thinking too much would only tear me apart,

All I needed was to get a proper start,

For, my rage never dies neither does my art.

My heart has now agreed to sign a pact,

That only if I write , it shall hold me intact,

Now my fears slowly started loosing their impact,

Oh god  just let me write, I have already lost in love and you have nothing left  in me to detract.