I lost it!


I think I lost it.

Maybe I never had it?

Was it all just for nothing?

Is this the end of the road?

I thought I could write,

Gosh, my mind is numb, what a pitiful plight!

Is it the booze?

Nah, shouldn’t be! Its already a part of my blood now!

Is it the stress?

Maybe..but isn’t my booze already ending my stress’ duress?

I don’t know!

Maybe its the loneliness setting in!

Well, 3 days since I last opened my door 😀

But, I’m used to this, ain’t I?

Is it a punishment?

Gee, now I get it, maybe it is!

Didn’t I already pay enough, oh you greedy pain,

Just stop doing this!

At least tell me what it’d take?

You’ve already put my life itself at stake!

Zero happiness and an infinite cries,

Maybe this is lifelong, until I die!

 

 

I wish..


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I am bleeding,

From within,

I am dying,

Everyday.

I am withering,

From this devilish pain.

I am crying,

Until I’m out of tears.

I am drinking,

To forget everything.

I’m tired,

Of all this fighting.

I am alone,

Today and tomorrow.

I want to talk,

Right here right now.

I know I can’t,

Oh, no one wants to listen.

I wish it were any different,

But, nope its my life’s definition.

I wish I were happy,

Never mind, no one cares.

I wish some one will hold my hand,

None to be found anywhere.

I wish I was never born,

Now, I can’t even die.

I wish I didn’t drink too much,

Wonder if my liver is fried.

I wish I didn’t write this,

Gosh, no one will even read.

I wish I had no more wishes,

Nah, that’s only that’s left of me.

I wish this bottle was never empty,

Hell, no I need much more and plenty.

I just fade away..


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I simply fade away,

Everyday, I just rot and decay.

With a battered body and a charred soul,

My heart gets sucked into this giant black hole.

Sometimes I feel the pain engulf me,

It just seems so overwhelming, there’s no one to hear my plea.

I suddenly gasp for air while I struggle to breathe,

I don’t know if anything can save me, not even a sip from river Lethe.

I try to fight myself out of it,

But every time I reach over, I again get dragged into the same pit.

There is neither any medicine nor any cure,

I just need to live like this, I’ll just have to inure.

I don’t know if I can ever have some glee,

I don’t know if ‘I’ can ever become a we.

I don’t know if I can ever live again,

Soon I will not know anything except this beastly pain.

I ain’t raising my glass!


Tonight I drink.

I drink until I forget,

I drink until I live.

Until the very last drop,

No I would not even consider to stop.

 

One glass at a time,

Maybe a bottle at once ?

Let my stomach drown in the bitterness,

Let my brain stop being mine,

Let the booze flow in my veins,

Tonight I forget.

 

I forget all the past,

I forget what the future holds,

Right now I drink.

I drink for myself,

Selfishly all to myself,

Oh, I deserve every bit of this.

 

The doc said not to,

My parents said not to,

Yet I want to.

This is what I want,

And for once I will take what I want.

 

Yes, I drink tonight,

Without any hint of the slightest fright,

Fuck my conscience! let it take its flight,

Tonight there wont be any light.

I’ll savor every bit of it,

Tonight I strengthen my grit.

 

I ain’t saying cheers,

I ain’t sharing with my peers,

This is all mine,

Let there be no boundary line.

Tonight I finish it all,

Let my soul take its deepest fall.

TONIGHT I DRINK!

 

 

 

The Poltroon!


 

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I wake up everyday for a new beginning,

Yet I end up sleeping afore the same dead end.

I wish I could regain my lost happiness,

Yet all I can do is to only pretend.

 

With all the unattended sorrows in my heart,

With my soul plowed wide open by a gut wrenching pain,

Each and every moment seems a fey challenge,

Yet, all I can do is to only weep within, I can’t even complain!

 

I writhe in this agony, I want to scream,

So I let out my hand to someone.

Nah! I now realize I am alone in this sordid battle,

All I can do is to just build my rage and run!

 

I search for an excuse to let out my tears,

I juts remembered my eyes have dried out, Oh its been years!

Overwhelmed, I realized I have even forgotten to breathe,

I loose myself completely, both my body and its beneath.

 

Oh please lift me out of this mess,

I need to live my life again.

I want to smile and feel happy for once,

Nah! Once again all my pleas go in vain.

 

And again, I wake up everyday for a new beginning,

Yet I end up sleeping afore the same dead end.

I wish I could regain my lost happiness,

Yet all I can do is to only pretend.

 

Note: Image Source: Google Images.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Man in the Sea..


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He was a helpless man drifting in the seas,

Thriving on ‘hope’ , to see the land and its trees.

Without any food nor any sleep,

All he could do was to sit down and weep.

Continue reading “The Man in the Sea..”

A pain that stays…forever!


A pain that that kills,

A guilt that grills,

A feeling that pierces through,

An emotion that no one ever knew.

Was it a mistake or was it a sacrifice,

Was it a virtue or was it a vice ,

Without any clue here I am paying the price,

Writhing alone in this painful paradise.

I wish I could change all of this,

I wish I could restore the happiness, restore the bliss,

I wish I could seek light from this never ending abyss,

I wish I could just relive and reminisce.